Have you ever asked yourself what is the driving force in your life? What motivates you to get out of bed, put makeup on, climb the corporate ladder, workout, maintain a difficult relationship or update your status on social media? The truth is that my life has been a constant dance between dreaded obligations, my multiple passions and the desire to help others. For over a decade, I was in that space of just ‘’surviving’’ the day, the next week, month or year; there was no way I could fathom having a list of long term goals or a dream board. Purpose and fun were nowhere on the to do list. I just had to pull through until my next break.
Then something happened – I got tired of being exhausted, anxious and unhappy. I had become a dance educator at an inner city school because I wanted to make a difference – and to be fair, it was one the most rewarding experiences of my life. Sadly it came at a price that I was no longer willing to pay; the sacrifice of my own health and happiness. At 28, I was at a breaking point; I remember standing in front of the bathroom mirror gasping for air and trying to pull myself together for the next group. The truth is I had taken on too much for too long – I was one who always said yes; the one who always had to over-deliver; the one who believed I could save a crumbling education system; the one who could juggle multiple jobs and play caretaker. I was superwoman – or at least I wanted to be. The truth is I was overworked, drowning in my own grief from of the loss of my parents, in pain from neglecting my own body and buried in a mountain of debt. How was I going to get myself out? It seemed impossible – but I was desperate for change.
As crazy as this may sound, I heard a voice from within tell me; there is more, it doesn’t have to be this way; you matter too and you deserve to be happy. Call it universe, intuition, divine intervention or whatever you like; those words changed everything for the simple reason that I didn’t even know that any of those things were possible for me. I thought happiness, money, family, and health were for others more fortunate – NOT an underdog like me.
I had no idea how I was going to create the change that I needed but it started with just that; believing that things could get better. And slowly over the course of several years, they did. At first, I didn’t know where to turn but I started by looking for answers outside of my immediate environment; going to new places, reading and meeting new people with different perspectives. Most importantly, I stopped playing people pleaser/saviour and started listening to my own inner guidance.
Because that is the thing is when you are too busy proving yourself to everyone else, your blinders make you blind to the world outside of your own and you end up missing all the signs and possibilities.
Interestingly enough, the greatest catalyst of my transformation would fall into my lap in the form of a book. A Naturopath had introduced this book to me years before – the same Naturopath who had helped me wean off my anti-depressant medication using the power of plant medicine, food and lifestyle changes. She had pointed out the book ‘’Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom’’ to me, by Dr. Christiane Northrup. To which my first thought was: ‘’Yeah yeah, I don’t have time to read a book lady!’’ Several months later the title popped into my head again and I knew I needed to get it. When I finally read the introduction, I could not put the book down; It was one of my life’s biggest AHA’s.
I had been living an illusion my whole life. I wasn’t superwoman – I was a martyr! Like many other women, I had been conditioned by a selfless mother and by a culture that tells us that nice women put everyone else’s needs ahead of her own. She never says no and endures the mistreatment of others. The praise of self-sacrifice had been reaffirmed to me over and over throughout my dance training. Since I was particularly stiff, had the ‘’wrong’’ body type and lacked training I had to make up for it by working 10x harder than the others – even when it did damage to my body. My self-worth and confidence had been built upon my resilience and ability to endure, but that all backfired – eventually.
So why am I writing this are you wondering? Why did I decide to create Heart & Body Wisdom? Because it has become imperative for me to clarify what my driving force is. After all this isn’t just a means to an end. Heart and Body Wisdom was created from the heart; as my soul project, with a big mission.
So here is my honest and truest answer; I have had a long-time burning desire to share my mother’s and my own story in the hope that it can inspire change. I believe I was put here to challenge our legacy of self-neglect – but also to help heal, elevate and teach others how to better take care of their bodies, while also listening to their own inner wisdom. And now, I am finally giving myself permission to give voice to my purpose and dreams.
It took me a long time to understand that it is all of our birthright’s to have an extraordinary, meaningful life. I also know that when we are feeling our best, we overflow with more to share with others. We can give from a place of power, love and abundance – instead of lack and bitterness. So my mission is to serve YOU my purpose-driven-big-hearted-kind-souls on your journey to a strong, healthy and vibrant life.
I know I still have a long way to go – I don’t pretend to have all the answers and I consider myself a student for life. But after more than decade of working as a teacher, movement educator and more recently a nutrition and health coach, I find myself finally ready to humbly share my knowledge and lessons with you.
I am excited to share this windy journey with you and I only hope I can be of service to as many as possible on this journey of healing and happiness.
All my love,